The Knight of Pentacles usually represents responsibility, discipline, dedication, and perseverance (sometimes rigidity), dignified by the element of Earth. Now, in the body position, it seems to be telling me that I finally have the physical energy to move forward with my income-generating projects, which I lacked yesterday. And that is true: I haven’t slept well since last Saturday, and yesterday afternoon I felt extremely exhausted after eating a large amount of fat (which I had eaten in the hope of having more energy). Today, on the other hand, I woke up feeling stable and have already spent an hour planning the content for my new type of product (practical video guides), which will be sold under my main brand. I’ve also been deciding whether to postpone the release of Chapter 4 of another product, so that I can launch it alongside the first guide, which would add at least another three days of production time.
However, the Eight of Pentacles reversed usually represents impatience for results and frustration (or envy) over ambitions that have yet to be fulfilled, or even a lack of pride in the work already accomplished. It is ill-dignified when reversed, with the energy of the element of Earth weakened, inverted, or nullified. In this case, it seems to be directly influenced by the card in the soul position, which has a strong influence from the element of Air: a conflict.
Today, in the mind position, it indicates that despite this renewed physical energy and focus directed toward this goal, my mind still finds self-imposed obstacles. Thinking about the amount of work I’ll have to do between now and the launch, which is scheduled for next Tuesday, feels intimidating and makes me want to seek comfort by watching movies or distracting myself with anything other than work.
This is what the Two of Swords in the soul position seems to complete: I will have to make a choice that aligns with my spirit and purpose. This card is usually dignified by the element of Air and indicates a defensive stance in the face of problems, emotional conflicts, or difficult choices whose outcomes are hard to compare or predict.
In this reading, it seems to relate to the process of “Awakening” that began on September 27, which I continued yesterday by watching the film Samadhi (2017) for almost six hours straight (it is divided into parts, and I rewatched some sections multiple times). The film was essential because it is one of the few materials that relates to the deep meditative experience I returned to two days ago, with a practice session lasting almost 1 hour and 20 minutes. It discusses meditation, nonduality, giving up the ego’s pathological desire to solve “invented” problems that then become new problems, hope as attachment, and fear as avoidance, in favor of simply “being” through surrender.
This also led me to confuse material non-attachment with nihilism: nothing seemed to make sense anymore.
An Earth dignification in my body, combined with the dignification of Air in my spirit, seems to be competing in a tug-of-war over the dignification of my mind, specifically regarding work and the possible urge to escape that I will feel when challenged by it. This is exactly what I was thinking about earlier, when I came across the idea that I should produce the practical guide alongside Chapter 4: three times the workload, but with no guarantees of material success or emotional satisfaction (which is still tied to my material success—in other words, to generating income).